I have a confession to make. I want to be liked. That’s probably not a surprise to since most of us want to be liked. But it can be a real problem for us–for me. You see if I want to be liked more than I want to be truthful, more than I want to be authentic, more than I want to be godly then I have a problem. If I care about people like I say I do, I mean realy care then I need to love them more than I want to be liked. This means that I will speak or preach truth even if people may not like me for it. For someone in the people business this is a double edged sword. I got into vocational ministry because I love God and I love people but if I speak truth the people I love may not love me back which I have to be willing to risk if I love them as much as I say I do.
Do you see the problem? The apostle Paul was addressing this same issue when he said, “You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and from house to house.” Acts 20:20 (NIV) Like him or hate Paul had integrity. He was consistent regardless of who his audience was.
I recently attended a conference where Pastor Tim Keller of Manhattan Presbyterian said, “Our hearts contradict our message if how we feel in our hearts about our salvation is based on how we do in ministry even though we preach the opposite.” Let me take that one step further. Our hearts contradict our beliefs if how we feel in our hearts about our salvation is based on how “spiritual, caring, giving, etc.” (you fill in the blank) we are in the eyes of others.
As I reflected on Keller’s words I had to look deeply into my own soul–and frankly I didn’t like what I saw. As I reflected on my own duplicity I penned a brief apology to my own faith community.
“I’m sorry for not speaking as authentically as God has called me to in order to really be honest before God and before you. I have wanted to be liked by you too much. I have wanted a growing church more than I have wanted a godly church. I’m sorry.”
The identity of a Christ-follower comes from the one we follow, not his followers. So let me ask you, what motivates you? Why do you do what you do? If you are reading this and you are not a Christ-follower let me ask you, where do you draw your identity from? Can you step back from your life enough to reflect on your baseline motivators? Regardless of what our belief system is motives are elusive. We think our motives are noble when in reality we often live by mixed motives. There is something we hope to gain by what we do or say. When we see it in others we are often quick to label them a fraud. But what about our own mixed motives? Can we recognize the subtelties of mixed motives in our hearts? What motivates you?
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